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We've all been victimized and suffered the pain of it. There comes a point at which we must move on. Victimhood does not excuse living the rest of our life in a position of weakness. The Victim's lament is "Poor me!" The Victim feels oppressed, helpless, hopeless,powerless, ashamed, and seems unable to make decisions, solve problems, take pleasure in life, or achieve insight. Colin C. Tipping in his book, Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle writes, “Victim Consciousness is defined as the conviction [...]

My son, Elliot, had just turned three. And I began to consider my fatherly duty to teach him how to be a man. Actually, his mother said, "Hey, it's your fatherly duty to teach him how to be a man!" I had only a vague notion of what being a man meant, much less how to teach it. Guys watching sports together was a bonding ritual I'd seen, maybe we'd start there. At that age, Elliot had a beautiful [...]

Yesterday, Vickie and I watched Tony Robbins' 2006 TED talk. I'd seen it before, but this time, I wanted Vicke to analyze it, give me her insight as a professional speaker about Robbins' technique. At one point, Robbins talks about the power of emotion in calling people forward. "Emotion is the force of life." Al Gore is in the audience, and Robbins says to him (regarding Gore's effectiveness in the 2000 presidential debates), "I believe that with emotion, you would [...]

As each day goes by, it becomes more clear: THE MOST POWERFUL means at my disposal to create change in the world is - to BE the change. It's an inside job. It's not about convincing "them," or changing "it." If I want the world to be a certain way (loving, compassionate, safe, pro-active, fearless, free, etc.), then I must do the work on any issues WITHIN ME that keep me from being loving, compassionate, safe, pro-active, fearless, free, etc.. I have to [...]

  A month later, the production coordinator from Long Gone called me to work on another HBO film, The Man Who Broke 1000 Chains, featuring Val Kilmer in one of his first starring roles. Kilmer was very aloof on set. I don't know whether it was part of his process as an actor, or a symptom of something else, but he remained very  much in his own world. I don't believe he ever looked me directly in the eyes. An odd occurrence when [...]

Having dealt with the emotional upset triggered by a micromanaging boss, the next course of action is to ask: Am I the only one being micromanaged or are all the people working for this person getting the same treatment? If the answer is, it's only me, then it's time to look at where you can improve what you do and how you do it. That could mean showing up five minutes earlier every day or communicating with your boss differently. Ask co-workers for feedback [...]

I was a camera operator on a television show known for its visual style, a  style characterized by a camera that never stopped moving.  "Hypnotic eye candy," I called it, "dished out to keep the audience from realizing how dismal the writing and performances are." You can see, for starters, I had a slight attitude problem. While there, I served under a director of photography (DP) who micromanaged. I had never done well with controllers, and this was no exception. The [...]

Today I have a choice: I can live in the ego-world of dualities, of "rights" and "wrongs," of "goods" and "bads" that color my thoughts, emotions, and experiences. I can wade through the muck of a regretful past or the fear of an imagined future. I can hold on to false identities I've created about myself that separate me from everyone and everything.  If I do, my day will be an endless string of judgments, most of them self-critical, confining, [...]

My goal coming out of film school was to be a director of photography. The traditional route to becoming a director photography was to work as an assistant.  A camera assistant's job involves knowing the nuts, bolts and electronics of a variety of cameras, lenses, filters and accessories that work with the cameras. On set, when a piece of camera equipment stops working, all eyes turn to the camera assistant whose job is to fix it or replace it as [...]

I recently watched a presentation by Bruce Lipton Ph.D., author of The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles. In it he drew a fascinating picture of the human brain and how it develops. Lipton described the pre-frontal cortex, a region that occupies about 10% of our total brain mass. In terms of evolution, It is the most recent addition to the human brain. The pre-frontal cortex is involved in creativity, complex cognitive behavior, personality expression, [...]

“If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” — W. Somerset Maugham It being nuptial season, I attended a beautiful wedding recently. At the reception, the best man rose to make the obligatory toast to the bride and groom. Raising his glass, he said, "There are three kinds of rings... the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. And for those of you, like me, in a long term marriage, you know [...]

This year, 2015, has been a challenging year for me. I'm not surprised. I knew it would be when I decided to make changes regarding my career, my relationship and my living situation - all at once. The year has brought a roller coaster ride of triggering upsets. This week it was as though I was allowed to rise above the chaos for a breather, a chance to pause. When I did, I realized how much of this year has been gnawingly uncomfortable. This week I also read this passage [...]